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If I was made El Presidente of the RFU I would….

During my last posting I made the statement “If I was made El Presidente of the RFU I would….” and this caused some discussion down the local pub, The Star and Garter, during the festive season, normally started with “If you were the President of the RFU what would you do?”

Well okay, here you go then:

On making my way to the RFU offices for the first time I would stop off at a sports shop and buy 57 rugby balls so those within HQ can familiarise themselves with a rugby ball; the powers that be have obviously got confused with the round ball of association football since the mid-1990s. Rugby is unique, it is not an alternative to association football nor should it still be considered a derivative or variant.

I’d leave the international set-up as it is for the time being, eventually I would try and hive it off so it is more independent from the rest of the RFU. It would still be accountable to me as President but I would give the National set-up greater autonomy. Despite much press, I don’t think the England set-up have made the necessary changes to keep itself at the cutting edge of the world game, we came off the throttle too soon after our cup glory in 2003 and this problem was compounded by the fact that somehow we made the finals in 2007. Don’t forget we won the Webb Ellis Trophy by a mere drop goal late in the game that night in Sydney; magnificent win though it was; it wasn’t exactly a crushing victory or an obliteration was it? I’d like to think a truly great set-up would have built on their success and then totally and utterly wiped the floor of the opposition by a clear two converted tries four years later. I have a fear that we could repeat the mistakes of the England Football team in the World Cup – winners in '66, pretty neat outfit in 1970 (if only Banks was fully fit in the later rounds) and then a total disaster in 1974 where we didn't even qualify. Harsh? No. You have to bear in mind I was once fascinated by motor racing in the days before overtaking was banned; there’s a chap in that sport called Ron Dennis, he’s the guy behind the team, McLaren, which runs Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button, and he once stated he felt a little disappointed that his team had one season only won 15 out of the 16 races, his ultimate goal was to win all the races in a single season. Our ambition in rugby should be no less ruthless; my vision would be for England Rugby to win the World Cup three times in a row and we will do whatever it takes to win it.

However my immediate priority is to rekindle the esprit de corps of grass roots rugby, to wrestle it away from the faceless corporate dullards who have started to seep in to our beloved game and make it bland. For example I would scrap the rule telling us that we must have numbers 1 to 15 on the backs of the players, silly rule, I would encourage Leicester and Bristol to return to the A to O numbering system they used to use; this sort of eccentricity help mark the individuality of our sport away from others. I, and others, liked those quirks, they didn't need to be outlawed - they harmed no one. I’m sure there are other things that have been outlawed due to professionalism so I would shred them and bring back the old traditions.

I am tempted to say I would bar any team from having figure hugging shirts made out of nylon; they must revert to playing in the traditional cotton jerseys made by people called Fran or Steve in Manchester. Fortunately guns are illegal else my wife would have shot me by now for trying to leave the house dressed in my customary Barbour jacket, cloth cap garnished with a skin tight rugby shirt. Modern rugby shirts are just wrong. Manchester United made a grey shirt a few years ago because they claimed it would look good with jeans, England (Football) also had the same idea at Euro 96, so why can’t any fashion designer come up with a strip that looks good for the expanding waistline of a bloke in his early 40s adorned in a Barbour wax jacket? Honestly, we may be muddied oafs but please a bit of sartorial elegance just once?

Also I would consider limiting the size of advertising on lower level club shirts as a means of giving the sport back to the community; I used to go into pubs in the south of Warwickshire/ Oxfordshire and see a scrum half or someone wearing his rugby shirt as a casual top in the local pub, the fact is you rarely see rugby shirts being worn as casual clothing by anyone these days and part of this is down to the fact they are so ugly, uncomfortable to wear and are less of a shirt and more of a bill-board for some company you’ve never heard of or whose services you’re never going to need; Leicester are sponsored by Caterpillar, the makers of bulldozers; are they offering to provide the next ‘Loo-mobile? Why would I want that company’s name splashed across my chest? And as for Saracens’ sponsors, what do they do? I’m not wearing any shirt with “Man Group” splashed across my chest just in case someone got the wrong idea and started consoling with my wife. Now this move may be a tongue-in-cheek comment about men’s fashion but there is a serious question; does a a club’s strip need to change every year; does the revenue raised from sponsorship really cover the cost of getting the shirts reprinted every year? I would rather a chap advertise his local, community, rugby club by wearing that in the pub than some faceless, sterile corporation.

I considered but very quickly have decided to disregard the suggestions of my friend Dave but thought they were worth a mention; he wants to prevent players from leaving the pitch at half-time, the duration of which would be determined by how long it took the match officials to clear a tray of 6 pints and thee whisky chasers served to them on the centre spot. He also suggested nominating a player to act as goal keeper, he would be strapped into a bungee harness mounted between the posts at kicks for goal and be fired into the air by the locks to prevent the score. Dave also wants to limit mid-week training to one single session, other sessions would be allowed provided they utilised indoor facilities with minimum standards of being within easy reach of three optics and two pump handles mounted on a bar. There were other ideas from this brainstorm but, fortunately, the beer mat got wet and the ink ran…. Away from Dave’s madcap ideas….

It would be imperative to reduce some of the chaos that surrounds the clubs at the higher levels regarding the make up of squads. Dual Registration would be outlawed immediately. I don’t feel comfortable that a Premiership team can off-load a not insignificant number of players to a lower league club and then pull them back in times of International clashes or injury. I am a strong believer that consistency within a squad is imperative to the ongoing improvement of both a team and the spirit and morale within a club. Loaning players is one thing but dual registration is unnecessary.

Talking of registrations I think it best to limit the maximum number of overseas players each squad, outside the Premiership, contains to between two and four. I am flabbergasted at the money some clubs spend on getting someone in from New Zealand or elsewhere, truly horrific and feel the money would be better off being spent in investing in home grown talent, in club facilities or developing the coaching staff, an investment that would provide a better return in the longer term. One club at National One level I am told willingly agreed to the demands of an antipodean player to be entitled to four flights home each year, that would be the equivalent of about £4000 per annum, or £330 per month in my estimation, on top of a car and a rented house for him and his wife. After fifteen months the player decided he didn’t like the climes of England and went home; now some people may say this is the norm, or they could cite worse extravagances, really? I would be mortified if an asset in my business suddenly packed in after a year and a half, I would want to make sure that investment left some longer term benefits to the club/business and not just ‘happy’ memories.

Something else that needs clear definition is the fixture list; the season would run from the first weekend in September to the May Day Bank Holiday of the following year with each weekend clearly labelled as set aside to international, league, cup, county cup fixtures or just spare weekends for postponements.

Congestion and subsequent player injury are often raised as points of issue so I would scrap the Premiership and replace it with two national conferences of eight teams (that’s 16 rather than the 12 of today). Each team in the conferences would play each other twice, home and away. A play-off system would then be used to determine the overall Premiership champion and to rank the 16 teams, this would be a proper play-off system, one where the top teams having strived for league glory then campaign for real supremacy; I liken the current play-off system to a long distance race; you think you’ve finished after a long slog only to find someone has moved the finish line a further few miles down the road and so, when you think you’ve finished, you’ve got to trudge a bit further on; half-heartedly and no longer interested. Relegation I’ll discuss later. The fewer matches would help reduce the risk of burn out to players, minimise the chance for injuries, avoid clashes with International games and hopefully lead to smaller squad numbers.

My conferences would not be based on those used by the NFL in America for I find the precedent to be somewhat complicated, I would however, like our American cousins, insist the Premiership teams play two warm-up, ‘exhibition’, games against clubs from the lower tiers at the beginning of the season. This would help to break down the elitism of the professional clubs and promote bringing the game back to its grass-roots

Premiership clubs will be considered the elite of English rugby and will thus set an exemplary standard to the rest of the game; this will include high standards for conduct and facility both on and off the field. Any team found wanting in any of these criteria will be expelled from the Union and the first XV forced to start at grass roots level. In other words Harlequins, in my world, you’d have been playing London 3 South West this season for that little stunt with the blood capsules. Coventry and Birmingham, you can play each other again in a few years after a stint in Midlands 5 for going in administration.

The 16 clubs would be made up of the existing twelve teams and a further four to be selected from The Championship. Selection criteria for the brave new world will be based on performance, managerial willingness (in other words if the club doesn’t want to go into the Premiership, they won’t be coerced), business robustness, business development plans, geographical location and facilities. One may say I’m heading towards franchises. I’d agree with you to an extent, it has taken 15 years of professionalism but I’m beginning to see the attraction of such things – standards must be maintained and if that is by artificially creating barriers to protect values then so be it; those standards wouldn’t be unachievable but realistic for any serious enterprise, for instance standards on facilities at grounds for spectators, training facilities, access to pitch warmers / weather shields to prevent cancelled games. Forget your fancy mascot and loud rock music whenever a try is scored, what good are they if you spend 5 minutes queuing to use the loo.,

Away from the top echelon, which has been self serving for far too long, the Championship and the British and Irish Cup would be cancelled immediately. The contests may have been established with good intentions but when league positions are based on the solvency of a business rather than the playing performance of the team something is very wrong.

I would also scrap all National Leagues as they stand (tiers three to five). The 116 clubs, including the remnants of The Championship, now without a league would be divided up into 2 steps instead of the current three Each step would then be further broken down into four leagues; each strand made up of 14 clubs.

The 4 new leagues in each step would be set up in regions but not those based on the existing county boundaries which kick up a few anomalies. For example North Walsham or Diss and other Norfolk clubs, more northerly than Leicester, are playing in the Southern Leagues whilst Luton, based 11 miles north of the M25, are branded a ‘northern’ club. I propose the clubs be organised into divisions based on their road distance from each other. I know this sounds bizarre but with the aid of software such as Google Earth or Multimap it is not difficult in this day and age to optimise the distance between each club throughout the campaigns. I find Christmas a very boring period of the year and this year, between sessions in the Star and Garter, I set up simulations of this proposal to help pass the time and found that with the aid of a few ‘rules’ this is a workable solution. Waterloo, interestingly, for so long thought of as a bastion of northern rugby would now find itself on the fringes of ‘the central region’ with its most remote rival being Cambridge, 200miles away and long viewed as a southern, or London Club, in the eyes of the RFU. Okay it wouldn’t reduce our travel bill but would help the Luton and Diss clubs of the world. For the geeks amongst you this little exercise meant setting up a big matrix, sitting down and determining the road distances between clubs by means of post code or by getting the PC to calculate the distance between two points placed on the centre spots of the pitches in Google Earth, an absolute pain in the derriere but once set up would be relatively easy to maintain (I said I get bored and this sort of work is very therapeutic when blessed with a hangover).

At the end of the season a series of play-offs in the form of a knock-out contest would take place between the top eight clubs (the top two from each ‘upper’ league) to determine the supreme champion of the nation, or ‘National Champion’ as they would be known. This club / team / business / entity would then be offered the choice of going into the Premiership, provided they met the draconian criteria set down within the standards, replacing the 16th team in the Premiership. If they refused to accept the invite then they would start the following season with a ten point league deduction in order to prevent a single club monopolising the campaign year after year. Clubs not involved in play-offs would be expected to keep playing against either local or old rivals, county cup games or to host county games.

Relegation and promotion between the steps would be relatively straight forward; bottom three in each ‘step one’ league would be relegated to the lower step, top three from each lower league would go up. Once the make up of each step was known then the make up of the leagues would be re-determined. The promotion between the new lower step and the existing tier 6 would be left as it is today.

I would also install a new cup competition for all clubs in the new leagues, 116 clubs, plus eight from the current tier 6, bringing the number to 128, a good number for a seven round contest and I would set aside the last weekend of each month as a cup round. Now rather than having a cup draw made from balls out of a velvet bag which throw up a series of poorly attended ties of say Waterloo against Canterbury or Westoe versus Redruth, I would actually set the draw up artificially, in each round each club would play their nearest rival, I would make it a set of local derbies, a series of “king of the hills” as it were. We, for instance, could play our first game against West Park St Helens, before playing Caldy or Birkenhead Park and then onto Sedgeley Park or Fylde or Preston Grasshoppers. These derbies would ensure plenty of on-going local interest, higher attendances and associated takings at the bar. Any club not playing in the cup would again be free to set up their own fixtures; say we got knocked out in the fourth round, we could then arrange a fixture against our old mates at Rosslyn Park or have a match against Manchester, either to raise finances or to develop the club against higher-leagued opposition. One of the priorities for those in charge of the game shouldn’t just be about cost saving but about revenue generating and if by ‘tweaking’ the fixture list to help out then any opportunity should be grabbed with both hands.

Having made those changes to the fixtures I would then set up a series of eight seminars to be held biannually at a central point to each of the eight tier 6 leagues; ie North1 West (Lymm, New Brighton, Wilmslow etc) I would hold the seminar in a conference centre in Warrington) and invite the clubs of all tiers / steps from within the catchment area to attend. These ‘village hall’ events would have an agenda established that wouldn’t just allow the RFU to preach but also to allow the grass roots to be heard, to get clubs to share ideas and raise issues. Rugby supporters would also be encouraged to attend and would be invited to apply for tickets through adverts in the rugby media of the RFU website. I would hope this openness would improve communication and smash the shuttered mentality of the blazer brigade that exists in many clubs back into the middle of the last century As in business I can't abide the lethargy and archaic manner of 1950s style management committees, I'm not alone in this thinking, the founder of the SAS, Lt Colonel Sir David Stirling, went through huge turmoil trying to convince committee after committee to allow the unit to be set-up and I can’t help but think most rugby clubs would prosper if allowed to run in the same manner, a small leadership team allowed to undertake actions with dramatic effect rather than a large group unable to make a decision to instigate the actions and therefore be highly ineffective when duty calls. As President I would love to bar any slow, clumsy committee from the game but alas that will wait for another day. All I could do is warn against management structures that are too clunky, too large, too old-fashioned and slow to react, they are detrimental to the club performance; those clubs that adopt modern management techniques will be the ones to thrive. A club should be run by the club for the club. A club must be like a tenacious scrum half; quick to respond, fast thinking, brave, decisive and not a lumbering, leaden, over weight, unfit front row unable to make a decision in the heat of the moment.

Having got the hearts and minds in order I would then endeavour to work with the following two institutions to determine synergies to benefit the sport; the Football Association and the Rugby League. Some would say they are the enemy but are they really? I was in my local newsagents the other day and the chap who runs the place always has a pile of magazines about a month out of date which he flogs for about 20% of the original price and I picked up a copy of “Non-League Football Monthly” or something for 50p. Now I have no interest in kickball, absolutely zero, but being bored senseless I decided to see what on earth could go into a 100 page glossy magazine about teams in the Zameretto Southern Football League Premier Division and its equivalents. As I said football just makes me ‘flat-line’, my mind is numbed by it but I am interested in sport and the business side, or the operational side, of it and I think it’s time someone did some proper benchmarking, an exercise where similar entities (not necessarily competitors) are compared. Ah, chaps, seriously, I think it’s time we actually had a word with the people at Arriva Stadium in College Road, Marine FC, you know the people who occupy the land next to Satterthwaites, purveyors of the best pork pies in all of Christendom (and now my wife has tried one fresh from the oven, she too backs my opinion). I think you’ll find they (Marine not Satterthwaites) have the same issues as we do; they serve a small suburb in the north of a major city, overshadowed by two sporting giants (Liverpool and Everton), have an average attendance of about 350 for each league game, are now finding their options limited due to their ageing facilities, charge about £8 for admittance, they too have league rivals in Kendal and Bradford and some of their peers are struggling to meet financial obligations (Burscough / Kings Lynn); sounds all very familiar. So as President of the RFU I would be working with the people in the FA and the Rugby League as to what we can do for our sports, or any other sports that play on a level grass pitch measuring about 100 m by 80m, there are huge parallels and we should not be struggling alone.

And then I would be badgering the chaps in Whitehall to do what they can to help out. For instance I’d go and have a word with my contemporaries in France and have a look at how their grounds and sporting entities work in conjunction with the politicians. I was speaking to a former colleague in Toulouse about our beloved game the other day (I must have been bored, I phoned a Frenchman and wished him Happy Christmas) and he was saying that their national and regional governments pour lots of money into sporting facilities but they also make life easier by thinking of highlighting opportunities to local groups, not just businesses but also youth groups, drama societies and sporting clubs. For instance when Airbus expanded their business the increased traffic needed new roads so the local district built a set of new dual carriageways, a series of by-passes in effect. Now, keeping it basic, when the road was built it went through a farm and partitioned it, leaving quite large bits of land too remote from the farm house so other uses had to be found for it. It was too small for an industrial park so the local council built a new community centre on it (including a theatre), some restaurants and a health club and they re-located the local rugby club, Blagnac, to a new facility. Why isn’t the South Sefton District Council working with Marine and Waterloo Rugby Clubs and doing the same thing with the projected new road linking Switch Island with the mooted by-pass at Ince Blundell? Helping them to land that would be otherwise disused that could offer a longer term future to their key sporting institutions? As El Presidente I would be seeking to make governments and councils more aware of the need for and of rugby clubs within the communities.

Having done a bit of wine tasting in France I would then head south to Madrid and Barcelona and check out the way in which their sports work, Barcelona FC is a sports club, its membership have huge sway in the mechanisations of the organisation and it doesn't just cover Football (even though I hate the game one has to admire its popularity and learn from it, possibly copy but never imitate). Actually, little known fact, did you know the club colours of Barcelona are based of those of Merchant Taylors’ School, Crosby? True. Barcelona was set up as a club for both the local community and some ex-pats and one of the key figures was an old boy from Crosby and working with his club-mates got his old school colours incorporated into the club strip; the fact that his new club went onto become one of the biggest football clubs in the world is neither here nor there…. Anyway back to the manifesto, hopefully I would see no reason why the rugby clubs of England could not re-established as sporting clubs and given back to the people.

I’d love to say I’d establish a salary cap at all levels to counteract where I feel some players have earned far too much money from not being very good, or to limit “gardening leave payments” for coaches or players who have been disappointing but that wouldn’t be down to me, that would be down to the individual clubs, how they would run affairs would be their own business but using the village hall idea, I would promote those who have boxed clever with the money and come up with innovative schemes.

But I’m not President of the RFU, it was pleasant fantasy whilst it lasted over the yuletide, though it has made me think I am getting to the age when I feel I need to start taking a more hands on role in the game and the clubs; who knows perhaps one day, in 25 years, I may find myself being asked to be a club President somewhere in this green and pleasant land and I will find out if its far, far harder to be leading a club rather than commenting from the sidelines. Back in reality, all I know is I’m a hard core Waterloo fan, always have been, and this season we have another campaign on our hands; it’s down to all of us to muck in and do what we can to help out the Green Boys out. All the best for 2010 everyone and remember we may be an old club but we are young at heart, the club spirit is at the highest I’ve ever known it so there is plenty of fight left in us yet.

We are Waterloo and we fight on…..

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